Relationship Reading Recommendations

The New Couple
by Seana McGee and Maurice Taylor

"With fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce and the ever-increasing numbers of "trial" marriages, serial monogamists, and "scared singles," attaining a happy, long-lasting relationship can seem hopelessly out of reach. Conventional relationship advice promises such fulfillment in love, but really only adds to the confusion, anxiety, blame, and heartbreak. Where can couples turn when the old rules don't work anymore? Seana McGee and Maurice Taylor, couple educators and husband-and-wife psychotherapist team, have the answer." (source: www.amazon.com)

Commitment



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Conscious Loving
by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks

"Here is a powerful new program that can clear away the unconscious agreements and patterns that undermine even your best intentions. Through their own marriage and through twenty years’ experience counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of each individual." (Source: description from book back cover)

Personal Responsibility



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GROW UP! How Taking Responsibility
Can Make You A Happy Adult
by Dr. Frank Pittman

"Pittman is straightforward and witty in his guide to what it really takes to become a responsible adult." --Library Journal "In Grow Up!, film critic and psychiatrist Dr. Frank Pittman tells us the secrets of happy adult lives. He uses his own life, his years of practice as a therapist, and his prodigious reading and movie viewing to analyze our culture. He is opinionated, brilliant and incisive, never dull of mealymouthed. Plus, he is one of those rare psychiatrists who likes mothers." --Mary Phipher, Ph.D, author of Reviving Ophelia "A wise, funny, in-your-face prescription for being a responsible and happy adult. Frank Pittman is Jeremiah, Solzhenitsyn, and Bill Cosby rolled into one extraordinary writer with somethin to say that we need to hear." --Dr. William J. Doherty, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program and president-elect of the National Council on Family Relations (Source: review as posted on www.amazon.com)

Personal Responsibility



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THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR
MAKING MARRIAGE WORK
by John Gottman, Ph.D.

"According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts. Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)" (source: www.amazon.com)

TAKE TIME FOR YOUR LIFE: A Personal Coach’s Seven-Step Program for Creating the Life You Want
by Cheryl Richardson

"Personal coach Cheryl Richardson helps people create the lives they want. In Take Time for Your Life, she shows you how to switch from being stressed, unfulfilled, and overworked, to "living a life you love" by using a seven-step process. First, she gives you permission to "make the quality of your life your top priority" by honoring your self-care--a difficult choice for fast-track readers, but essential. Putting yourself at the top of your "to do" list will help you connect your head with your heart and enhance your satisfaction and joy. Next, you define your priorities and revise your schedule so it reflects them. Then you figure out what actions, issues, and people are draining your energy and start to "plug those drains." The next step is getting your financial house in order. And so on, through seven progressive strategies that free you to live an authentic, high-quality life, embracing your spiritual, emotional, and financial well-being. Richardson recommends enlisting a friend to work through the book with you: a fine idea to help you benefit from all the guidance that this book offers. Resource lists at the end of each chapter let you pursue topics further. Highly recommended." --Joan Price (source: www.amazon.com)

THE WAY OF HARMONY: Walking The Inner Path to Balance, Happiness and Success
by Jim Dreaver

John Allan, author of Living in the Presence of God
"Jim Dreaver is a gifted teacher whose words actually bring us into the living present, where the healing energy of love can be felt."

Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D., author of Real Moments
"This book is wonderful wisdom and inspiration. Reading it will uplift your spirit." (source: www.amazon.com)

THE POWER OF NOW:
A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
by Eckhart Tolle

"Ekhart Tolle's message is simple: living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment. And while this message may not seem stunningly original or fresh, Tolle's clear writing, supportive voice, and enthusiasm make this an excellent manual for anyone who's ever wondered what exactly "living in the now" means. Foremost, Tolle is a world-class teacher, able to explain complicated concepts in concrete language. More importantly, within a chapter of reading this book, readers are already holding the world in a different container--more conscious of how thoughts and emotions get in the way of their ability to live in genuine peace and happiness." (source: www.amazon.com)

STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART: An Essential Guide for Developing, Deepening, and Renewing Your Relationships
by Layne and Paul Cutright

Tolly Burkan, founder of the Firewalking Institute and author of Dying to Live
"Layne and Paul Cutright are like lasers in the way they penetrate to the core issues of relationships in their easy to read book, Straight From the Heart. It has been a long while since I've encountered such clarity on an issue that affects us all. Obviously, their wisdom comes from years of experience in their own relationship and from counseling many others on how to attain nurturing and rewarding relationships. Their book is a gift to us all. I highly recommend it to everyone." (source: www.amazon.com)

RADICAL HONESTY: How To Transform Your Life By Telling The Truth
by Brad Blanton, Ph.D.

"Radical Honesty is not a kinder, gentler self-help book. In it Dr. Brad Blanton, a psychotherapist and expert on stress management, explodes the myths, superstitions, and lies by which we live. He shows us how stress comes not from the environment, but from the self-built jail of the mind. What keeps us in our self-built jails is lying. "We all lie like hell," Dr. Blanton says. "It wears us out...it is the major source of all human stress. It kills us." Not telling our friends, lovers, spouses, or bosses about what we do, feel, or think keeps us locked in that jail. The way out is to get good at telling the truth. Dr. Blanton provides the tools we can use to escape the jail of the mind. This book is the cake with the file in it." (source: description from www.amazon.com)

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
by Don Miguel Ruiz

"Sit at the foot of a native elder and listen as great wisdom of days long past is passed down. In The Four Agreements shamanic teacher and healer Don Miguel Ruiz exposes self-limiting beliefs and presents a simple yet effective code of personal conduct learned from his Toltec ancestors. Full of grace and simple truth, this handsomely designed book makes a lovely gift for anyone making an elementary change in life, and it reads in a voice that you would expect from an indigenous shaman. The four agreements are these: Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best. It's the how and why one should do these things that make The Four Agreements worth reading and remembering. --P. Randall Cohan" (source: www.amazon.com)

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT:
A Guide for Couples
by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.

"When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends." As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship." (source: www.amazon.com)

UNDEFENDED LOVE: The way that you felt about yourself when you first fell in love is the way that you can feel all the time
by Jett Psaris and Marlena Lyons

"The path to true intimacy is a difficult one. In this book, two psychotherapists teach that everyone has the capacity to love without defenses or qualifications and to know themselves so deeply that real intimacy becomes a lifelong expression of their deepest nature. Problems and conflicts that inevitably arise in relationships can become opportunities for a deeper connection. Through illuminating case studies, guided self-inquiries, and challenging exercises, readers learn to engage in a deeper dialogue with their partners, express profound aspects of their nature, and discover that undefended loving can bolster inner strengths they never knew they had. "This beautifully written work is a stunning breakthrough in the field of books on relationships." - Pat Holt, former book review editor, San Francisco Chronicle" (source: www.amazon.com)

The Power of Commitment
by Scott Stanley

"In his new book, Scott Stanley, best-selling marriage expert, reveals that the secret ingredient for finding lasting love is understanding commitment. Too often, men and women find themselves in half-committed, Maybe I Do, relationships that lead to frustration, sadness, and, in many cases, divorce. But it doesn't have to be this way. Scott Stanley offers a five-step plan—based on his groundbreaking marital research and uniquely spiritual approach—for understanding commitment, including learning to handle the pressures of everyday life, moving through the pain of unfulfilled dreams and hopes, overcoming attraction to others that might endanger a marriage, transforming your thinking from "me versus you" to "we" and "us," and capturing the beauty and mystery of lifelong devotion, loyalty, teamwork, and building a lasting vision for the future." (source: www.amazon.com)

The Case for Marriage
by Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher

"The wages of the married are high, commitment is good for the libido, and, despite 30 years of arguments to the contrary, happiness may just depend on reciting the wedding vow, according to Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher. After sifting through the evidence and conducting their own studies, the authors conclude that marriage is beneficial and transformational, and that neither cohabitation nor swinging singledom are all they're cracked up to be. In fact, it turns out that marriage is a public heath issue: being single can take almost 10 years off a man's life, while wifely nagging really is good for his health. Getting and keeping a wife can also increase a man's income as much as an education. Waite and Gallagher debunk a number of myths about marriage, including the one that says men get a better deal. Acknowledging that there may have been some truth to this in the past, better equity in modern marriages means that women make out just as well as men, though in different ways. Divorce--not marriage--is especially bad for women's health; parenting young children--not marriage--is the usual source of depression seen in mothers; and battering is significantly more common in cohabitating couples." (source: www.amazon.com)