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Member News - January 2005

See archived articles here

This newsletter is designed especially for YOU if:

In this issue:

  1. Ask Our Coaches
  2. In 2005, It's The Little Things That Count
  3. Four Rituals Of Connection That Matter
  4. Wow = Words Of Wisdom
  5. The Miracle Of Connection Teleclass Series
  6. About Partners In Life

ASK OUR COACHES

This column answers questions submitted by our readers. Please submit your questions here and we will forward them to our coaches all over the world, and publish 3-5 answers per issue.

THIS COLUMN WILL RESUME IN FEBRUARY

Please visit www.partnersinlife.org/coach/ to check out our talented group of couple's coaches.

This special New Year's Edition is focused on feeding the sparks of intimacy and passion in your marriage for 2005.

In 2005, It's The Little Things That Count

by Linda A. Marshall, M.Div.
Director of Couple's Programs

Research shows that happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. Happy couples have an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness in little ways day in and day out. They find ways to stay connected, even with the busiest of schedules. It's not that they don't argue and have disagreements. They do. And their friendship is what keeps the disagreements from getting out of hand.

So, in 2005 why not resolve to give attention to the little things that add up BIG! Below are some suggestions to get you going. They may not seem romantic, and the couples who practice these little things have been found to have more passion in their marriages that do those couples whose primary focus is on romantic interludes and exotic vacations. Be creative and find meaningful ways to connect daily.

Talk frequently on the phone while you are away from each other at work.

Check in with your partner after an important event to see what happened.

Be mindful of your partner's favorite foods and be sure to honor their desires. Also, be mindful of their dislikes and avoid serving those to them.

Know what activities grow out of your partner's value system, giving their life meaning. Participate in those activities with them, even if the activity is not something that interests or excites you.

Four Rituals Of Connection That Matter

by Linda A. Marshall, M.Div.
Director of Couples Programs

When we first come together as a couple, we develop rituals of intimacy and connection. These often get lost in the midst of our crammed schedules, especially after children are born. Over time, this results in less connection, less spark, and less intimacy. There are four important times during our day when rituals are important. These are times of transition and transitions are particularly stressful. These rituals can provide ease and comfort, making the transition progress more smoothly. Some suggestions are offered below, but you can be creative and find ways to ritualize these transitions that are meaningful to the two of you. What is important is that the ritual be short and a positive experience of connection. There should be no problem solving, no requests for chores/tasks to be done, no topics that may create conflict or increase stress.

In 2005, add these to your marriage and watch as the sparks of intimacy and passion begin to fly.

  1. DEPARTING RITUAL:
    In each other's presence, create your intention for the day and offer each other support for fulfilling on your intentions. Part with a warm expression of appreciation for each other and a show of affection that is meaningful to both of you.
  2. COMING HOME RITUAL:
    Welcome each other with a brief hug and kiss. When settled in, share briefly how you fulfilled on your intention for the day. Give caring comments as you listen to how your partner's day went. Express appreciation for each other with another hug and kiss.
  3. DINNER TIME RITUAL:
    Linger over a cup of coffee, sharing in more depth how your day went or anything else that is on your mind to share with your partner, keeping in mind that your sharing is for the purpose of including your partner in your inner life and strengthening your bond. When the coffee cups are empty, the ritual is complete.
  4. BEDTIME RITUAL:
    Before falling asleep, share your appreciation for your partner and offer a blessing for them and for having them in your life. Cuddle, hug, and kiss goodnight.

WOW = WORDS OF WISDOM

"It takes years to marry completely two hearts, even of the most loving and well assorted. A happy wedlock is a long falling in love. Young persons think love belongs only to the brown-haired and crimson-cheeked. So it does for its beginning. But the golden marriage is a part of love which the bridal day knows nothing of. . . .

Such a large and sweet fruit is a complete marriage that it needs a long summer to ripen in, and then a long winter to mellow and season in. But a real, happy marriage of love and judgment between a noble man and woman is one of the things so very handsome that if the sun were, as the Greek poets fabled, a god, he might stop the world and hold it still now and then, in order to look all day long on some example thereof, and feast his eyes on such a spectacle."
~Theodore Parker

THE MIRACLE OF CONNECTION TELECLASS SERIES

The gifted Hedy Schleifer will conduct a free series of three teleclasses to help promote her next "Adventures in Intimacy" workshop for couples sponsored by RCI April 2005 in Northern California.

Teleclass #1: Growing Our Passion

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 10:00am pacific/1:00pm eastern

Hedy will cover the initial "Romance" stage of relationship and how to keep the initial excitement alive over time.

Teleclass #2: Embracing Our Differences

Friday, February 11, 2005 10:00am pacific/1:00pm eastern

Hedy will cover the "Power Struggle" stage of relationship and how to use our differences to deepen intimacy and connection.

Teleclass #3: Achieving Fulfillment

Thursday, March 24, 2005 10:00am pacific/1:00pm eastern

Hedy will cover the "Conscious Relationship" stage; what it looks like and how to get there.

Register Here (it's free!)

FOR MORE INFORMATION

Visit our web site at http://www.PartnersInLife.org for:

~FREE Five-Week e-Program for Couples

~Communication Map On-Line Communication Training

~Relationship Knowledge Bank

~And much more!

IMPORTANT PARTNERSINLIFE.ORG INFORMATION

PartnersinLife.org, is a resource for couples offered by
Relationship Coaching Institute, a worldwide relationship
coaching organization dedicated to helping singles 'find the love
of your life AND the life that you love'; to helping new couples
'make a wise choice in a life partner'; and to helping any couple
'fine tune and keep their relationship healthy and fulfilling.'
For more information about us, please visit our web site at
http://wwww.partnersinlife.org

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Want to make sure you are making a wise choice in a life partner?
Want to make sure your relationship stays healthy?
What to give your relationship a fine-tuning?
Get a Relationship Coach!
Check out our coaches at:
http://www.partnersinlife.org/coach/

===============

NEW RELATIONSHIP? Congratulations in moving forward in your
life partner quest! WHAT NOW?

Join PARTNERSINLIFE.ORG at http://www.partnersInlife.org
for cutting-edge information and resources for couples.

You will be glad you did!
***Please share this with new couples that you care about.

===============

Are you single and tired of being alone? Get a Relationship
Coach!

Check out our coaches at: http://www.consciousdating.org/coach

===============

Are you a coach or other helping professional who works with
couples and singles? If you want to know more about adding
Relationship

Coaching tools to your professional toolbox, visit
http://www.RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com

===============

Please share this newsletter with your single and couple friends,
family, and co-workers, and you can be a partner in their
success, too!

===============

Questions or comments about this newsletter?
Contact Linda Marshall, Editor
Director of Couples Programs, Relationship Coaching Institute
Linda@RelationshipCoachingInstitute.com
http://www.RelationshipCoachingNetwork.org

To subscribe to this newsletter visit
http://www.relationshipcoachinginstitute.com/forms/subscribe.htm

Copyright notice: This newsletter is copyrighted and all rights
are reserved. Feel free to share with others as long as our
contact
information
and authorship is included.

The Relationship Coaching Institute is a worldwide relationship
Coaching organization dedicated to helping singles 'find the love
of your life AND the life that you love' and helping couples
co-create fulfilling life partnerships. For more information
about us, please visit our web site at
http://www.RelationshipCoachingNetwork.org