logo: rcisv.org

Speaker Series

October 3, 2003

“Letting Go of Attachments and Outcomes”
With: RCISV Staff

If so you may be 'suffering' from being attached to the outcomes. When we are attached to objects, people, and situations being a certain way our emotional well-being is dependant on outside forces. This out of control, powerless point of view is a huge energy drain. Learn about the relationship between attachments, outcomes, and letting go. Discover how letting go of attachments and outcomes lets us actually be 'in control'.

Come join us for this highly interactive evening lead by the Relationship Coaching Institute SV's staff as we explore the advantages of letting go of attachments.

About our presenters:

Marv Cohen, the President and co-founder of Relationship Coaching Institute is a relationship and life coach, teacher, and licensed marriage and family therapist. Formerly a high-tech executive, Marv now provides coaching and psychotherapy for couples, singles, and groups. . He can be reached at or phone (408) 261-3332

Carol Daly is a relationship coach and speaker, as well as Director of Singles Programs at Relationship Coaching Institute, Silicon Valley. She offers a variety of processes useful for releasing limitations, as well as accessing and developing skills and abilities for quick and effective results. You can find out more and reach her at Carol@rcisv.org or phone (408) 261-3332 ext 4

Soraya Khalili is a master certified relationship coach, accomplished in several coaching disciplines. Her extensive coaching experience enables her to powerfully coach her clients in realizing their personal and relationship goals and objectives. You can reach her at or coachsoraya@lifeworksuccess.com; or phone 408-314-2906 or 408-261-3332, extension 3

Review of this program:

We become attached to someone or something happening in an attempt to feel happy, joyful, safe, secure or protected. There is a distinct difference between having a goal, intent, or desire and attaching so much importance to it happening that we get hurt, angry, or feel let down when 'it ' doesn't appear that way. With attachments so much importance is assigned to something being just so that it has the power to make us happy or sad, fulfilled or deflated, angry or excited.

Some of the old paradigms or ways we have operated around attachments are:

Now some new paradigms are:

Attachments are:

Letting go, detaching from the outcome often involves,

So what to do about these attachments? Here is an example. Note you may have different answers to these questions.

Identify your attachment

Identify Core Belief, Ask:

Find the positive intent of attachment and core belief

Oh, there is a part of me that really, really, really wants a relationship to feel happy and complete to take away the feeling/belief that I am not lovable

Now the action step is to give yourself- quite literally- what you have been looking for from outside. If it is to feel loved- love yourself. You might literally hug yourself and say to yourself "It is ok- I am here for you, I love you." Many people hold a pillow. Now before you laugh this off, please consider that this is positive self-talk and people who have an inner feeling of well-being talk to themselves in positive and uplifting ways. To speed your way out of the problem be real and sincere, give to yourself in ways that a caring and able parent would give to a child. Find what ways are best for you.

If it is to feel safe- take steps to be there for yourself, saying no to what you don't want and yes to what you do want. Make choices that help you.

Go back to the list of letting go and detaching and find ways to build these in yourself. Remeber happiness is an inside job.

Want more assistance for all or part of this? Marv, Carol and Soraya here at Relationship Coaching Institute Silicon Valley can help you. Call us to set up an appointment and to find out more.

About our presenters:

Marv Cohen, MBA, MA, MFTI is President and Cofounder of Relationship Coaching Institute Silicon Valley (formerly LifePartnerQuest). He is a Relationship, Life, and Executive Coach, Mentor Coach, Teacher, Counselor, and a Marriage Family Therapist Intern #IMF 37636. 408-261-3332

Carol Daly CHT, MRET is a Relationship Coach, Hypnotherapist and Rapid Eye Practitioner as well as the Director of Singles Programs at Relationship Coaching Institute Silicon Valley. 408-261-3332 x4