Speaker Series
Friday Speaker Series
January 23, 2004 (a past program)
Invitation to this program:
- "Quality of Life- What Do You Want?"
- With: Seth Burton
We all know we have needs... now it is time to learn what they are and how to express them!
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a language based on developing the capacity to connect with what our body/mind/soul is needing, in the moment, and in the big picture of our lives, and learning how to communicate this in a non-judgmental way.
Join us for an evening of first exploring how we disconnect from the message of our heart, and then learning a new language, which facilitates connection- with ourselves- and with others, based on the following question: "What quality of experience would truly be enriching to me, right now?"
About the presenter:
Seth Burton has been a student of the healing arts for over a decade. He was introduced to Nonviolent Communication over two years ago and studied it vigorously and began teaching it soon after. He is a member of Compassionate Communication Santa Cruz (www.ccsantacruz.org) and is in the process of becoming certified with the International Center for Nonviolent Communication. In addition to teaching classes, Seth offers conflict resolution and mediation as well as counseling. All of Seth's work is guided by the following vision: creating a world in which everyone's needs can get peacefully met.
Review of this program:
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) was created by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg through his studies of people who were able to remain compassionate during trying times. One of the key ingredients he discovered, for keeping your heart open when you are in pain, or when someone is sharing something that is hard to hear, is through reframing from judgment.
We need judgments to survive! NVC does not ask us to throw judgment out the door, to just be cautious with a specific kind of judgment- moralistic, evaluative, right/wrong, good/bad judgments: "You're a jerk." "She is insensitive." "They are too intellectual." "He is an awful person"
Such judgments are actually an expression of our own pain, disappointment or frustration. But instead of connecting with that pain, and hearing it's message, due to habit we turn to moralistic judgment. Judgment does nothing to create happiness and resolution in conflict, and does much to create pain and tension!
NVC invites us to focus instead on this question: What needs of mine are not being met by so and so's actions?
For example- "You're a jerk" might be an unmet need for caring or consideration. "They are too intellectual" might be someone feeling some sadness around not getting a sense of connection. "He is an awful person" might be someone expressing anger over not getting their need for fairness or respect met.
This simple (but not always easy) skill of focusing our attention on needs as opposed to moralistic judgments creates connection and compassion, as opposed to anger, resentment and separation. The simple practice of asking oneself what needs are not getting met when someone (self or other) is in pain is the way to turn judgment into a heart connection.
Needs are one component of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), which, since it tends to invoke compassion and connection is also called Compassionate Communication. For more information on NVC classes, please see Compassionate Communication Santa Cruz's (CCSC) Website: www.ccsantacruz.org or feel free to give us a call at 831-425-3055, to hear a recorded list of classes or contact us. As well as classes, CCSC
offers trainings for organizations and businesses, meditation and one on one counseling.
For more information about the Nonviolent Communication process please see the International Center for Nonviolent Communication's website at: www.cnvc.org